The doubters out there will say, hey BOZO, are you for real? You’re an idiot! That’s a traveling RAV4. Loser!

But I say, no, this is Travis’s kickin-it ride.

Or, maybe his name is T and he calls it his RAVRAV because that sounds just slightly more manly than calling it his RAVy-poo.

OK – now, sure, I don’t REALLY know that MO’s name is Mo and that his initials are MO, but when you come up against a wrdsmythe like MO who has that insane double usage of “4” how can you not believe he’s license-platually gifted? Sure, anyone with a RAV could make this same play, but who does? At least to the BOZO, MO stands alone. Like an island. A rock.

Now, the one opportunity MO missed here was a LameFrame. MO, if only you had taken the opportunity to find some chrome RAV4 bling, you could have had the LameFrame 4 x 4: four instances of RAV4 on the back! You’ve got work to do, MO.

Slo there, MO

Amazing but true, CEM cruises down with his lady to the Keys. You might associate a beach cruiser with Key West more than an MB, but not with CEM driving down from KANtucky to splash some cash around.

Sorry for the lame pic – almost as lame as CEM hisself.

When you’re a rock star, you get to party hard. Champagne and caviar. Tricked out, exotic car.

Or so it has been said.

Living the high life (more like the Hi-Life) cruisin in the Caddy in Ojai. Yeah, that didn’t last now, STR, did it? More like you’re driving a banged-up old piece of crap now. But, hey, good thing you blew some of that money from the good times on that plate, huh? Smart.

Roosevelt Never Had it Better

OK, CHAPI, I do love a challenge. I went ahead and Googled CHAPI to find out what I could about you – maybe a language, or a country of origin, or a reference to an under-the-radar Laotian video game. The best I could do was a Spanish composer. He’s dead. CHAPI, you aren’t dead, are you? That would be a good trick.

So then I Googled for ‘redneck‘ and I think I see your PT cruiser out there in the distance, among your brethren.

Word to the wise, CHAPI, if you have a PT, keep it on the lowdown.

Yes, I can be mean

Life is good.

You get your MBA from Pepperdine and land a job at Union Bank. Time for the lease on the 3 series Beemer.

Couple years later, you find a better position at Wells Fargo Private Equity. Time to turn in the Beemer early and pick up an Audi TT, natch.

You’re good at networking. You work the Blackberry, tip big in bars, and schmooze like mad. Women are great, but business contacts are better. It’s a man’s world.

Finally, the email comes from the hedge fund guy you knew from your frat. He wants to have lunch. You seal the deal.

For your first day at work, you’re sporting the new Versace suit, and you got a new Beemer. A serious one. A 5 series sedan to show that you aren’t a cowboy. And it sparkles.

Fast-forward to being made partner. It’s time. Shed all inhibitions. Get the car you really want. The one that’s finally about the ladies. The one that says you’re money, and you’re not family. The drunk/slut-mobile.

And you get it.

For the Love of God!

And then, six weeks later. You get the plates. Ouch!

Now those ditsy blondes that you want to pick up actually think you’re a lesser man, driving a Beemer again. After all this time! So maybe it’s time to have your assistant call the DMV to report that  your plates were stolen . . .

Where did Infiniti come up with the their amazing naming system? If you see my previous post, I do think there is a beauty and simplicity to Mazda’s naming, and more European car makers do at least use some progression to their numbers – as the number increases, so does the size or the horsepower. So, Infiniti, where does the “X” come from? And the “35”? And, while you’re at it, what ingenious marketing agency came up with that amazing name, Infiniti?

OK – enough about them, now about you, TT. Maybe you should be driving an Audi TT? Oh, right, you basically are in your sporty SUV that handles. Roger that. But if you do ever switch over, bring your plates. We’ll just start calling you X35.

OK, so to make this one work, you’ve got to accept the fact that the driver’s name is Maine. I think that works. Given names these days, I’ll bet he’s got a friend named Saskatchewan.

But there’s actually something I like here. I know – you can’t believe it. The crabby Bozo likes a plate after all. Here goes: I like that the entire car name is just “3” – can’t beat that. And it’s not even a lame single dig.

I’ve been at this too long – I’m getting worn down.

Power to the Northeast!

HK – psst! Over here! Behind your rig! Hanging out by the shiny silver characters on your Benz that say, to me at least, R 500. So here’s the problem, see. Your plate says C 500. HK – or should I call you Heather? – what’s up? Are these little letters too confusing? I agree – what’s the R for when it should be a C for ‘chariot’ right? I’m with you on this one. So how about maybe getting a silvery C for up there on the left, too?

Or did you think you’d fool us into thinking this minivan is a coupe? Was that it? It’s so sleek and all and we’re so dazzled by that peace-sign-you-call-a-benz-symbol that we’d overlook the two sliding doors and seating for 26?

Minivan = R, right?